From the Eyes of a 12-Year Old

A year after my husband and I were pursuing a divorce, my daughter came to me with this testimony.  She told me that she wanted to share her thoughts and feelings so that other families could benefit from a child’s perspective.  She told me that she wishes the turmoil she had in her heart on no one.  So I share her letter with you today.

It was a nice day in May of 2016 and I was relaxing in a hammock outside our house.  My parents had been talking inside the house and had asked me, my brother, and my sister to leave.  After about 20 minutes of lying in the hammock I heard their voices get louder and louder and then shouting started.  My Mom stormed out of the front door with my Dad following.  She jumped in her suburban and drove away.  All I wanted to do that second was sprint to my grandma’s house and spend the night with her. But I couldn’t. Dad was upset and I had to stay with him. The next day, mom picked us up and drove us to the hotel she was staying at and let us swim in the pool.  I didn’t understand and was worried where this might be going.

I felt confused why my parents didn’t want to be together anymore.  It seemed like the problems had started earlier in the year.  They didn’t seem happy and then my Mom started sleeping in my bed with me.  We would say our nightly prayers as a family but then she would get in my bed after she finished her work every night.  At first, I thought I was getting more attention from my Mom and I felt like a 5 year old again, but then she told me we were going on a long trip and I needed to pack everything I could and Dad wasn’t going.

We were gone for almost a month with my Mom and traveled all over the state and into Louisiana.  She would cry after talking on the phone with my Dad but didn’t share anything with us.  It wasn’t until we got back home that she told me we were moving out.  They didn’t mention the “d” word yet but I felt it coming.  I spent weekends and some week nights with my Dad at our old house.  I was mad at both of them because of their thinking that they would be better off separated with three kids than together.  The thought of seeing only one parent ever so often made me sad.  I knew that kids should grow up with both a mom and dad, and without that we would be miserable.

My Dad started calling my Mom’s friends to try and find out what he could do to save their marriage.  He didn’t understand where things went wrong and he wanted to fix it.  But when we got back from our trip my Mom packed everything up and we moved to town.  Town was nice because we had friends around to play with but Dad wasn’t with us.  He would come and visit and we would stay with him but it wasn’t the same.  Things weren’t that fun anymore.  I know other families had it worse and their parents separate forever but I didn’t know what to expect.  I just waited to see.  After two months, my parents were on a plane to Missouri for a marriage saving retreat.  We were left with my sick grandmother and some friends to take care of us and we waited to see what would happen.  They came back smiling and told us they were going to work things out.   A second chance.  All was good again.  Dad moved in and now we are happy.  The past is the past and I’ve learned to live in the here and now.  No more fighting and a lot more smiling and laughter.  Thank you God for bringing my parents back together.  

Remember, there is always hope.

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